WHEN LIFE HAPPENS
What do when Life Happens on your Holiday:
a Traveler’s Guide to when Shit Hits the Fan, Cruise Edition
Let’s talk about travel’s dirty little secrets. While most of the time life does feel picture perfect when you’re on holiday with gorgeous new surroundings and a plethora of tantalizing tastes to try, this we know. That’s why we love to do it! But another thing that we all know is that life isn’t as perfect as our IG pictures. Sometimes it’s just plain rude! And occasionally, life throws us one of those rude jokes in the middle of our holiday.
I recently took a cruise for the first time in my life. Yay! I was so excited!
t was supposed to be an anniversary gift for me and the hubs. Last minute, he was denied his vacation time (we love PCS season in the CG. If you’re a MilSpo, you get it! But that’s a story for another day). This actually turned out to be a BLESSING! I went on the cruise solo! Well, I left solo and bunked solo, but in full honesty I was with 4 other travel advisor friends of mine for this inaugural adult only cruise with Virgin Voyages. Whoohooo!! I’ve traveled with 2 of these folks before and it was magical!! I had no inclination that this time would be any different.
Oh but it was!
Buckle up frands!
My first discovery upon getting on board is that I have a SURPRISE fear of small spaces! I wouldn’t call myself claustrophobic at all. Recently, I’ve started to prefer the aisle seat to the window on a plane due to anxiety about not getting out (it goes into where I pick my seats as well) but nothing serious. I’ve been in caves, I’ve scuba dived, I’ve been inside an Egyptian Pyramid (through a tunnel that was only large enough for me to stand doubled over), I’ve been inside an ancient Viking mound in the Orkney Islands, with a similar entrance to the pyramids, and all of those times I was fine. But put me in a tight hallway on a cruise ship, I can’t hang! Surprise! I’m still not sure if it was being at sea or the smaller than usual spaces, but the anxiety was very real and very present from the moment I walked the wrong way down a hallway getting to my room.
What to do when you find yourself with surprise anxiety and the source will not be changing for the duration of the trip:
Phone a frand! Check in with a person that is a source of grounding for you, or maybe someone you know that has experience with what you’re going through. In my case, my husband who had spent 2 years at sea for the Coast Guard in a past life.
Use your tools!!
If you’re anything like me, you bring a few pieces of your craft or from your altar along with you on your voyages for instances like this one
I had an obsidian spear and a small chunk of citrine. I held the citrine in my left hand to call in positivity and luck on the journey. I held the obsidian in my right hand to release the anxiety that wasn’t serving me while also grounding me
Find some form of grounding.
Hinted above, a grounding stone can be used to pull yourself back to center, I love a quartz (any kind) for this. I usually bring something black like onyx or obsidian, a rose quartz, and a citrine. Whatever your go to stones are, chances are they’ll work for your trip too.
If you’re not on a boat, and it’s appropriate, try walking with your naked feet connecting to the earth beneath you. Ideally in grass or dirt (avoiding concrete or blacktop), to really connect you with the energy of the place you are in.
If you are on a boat like I was, my grounding came from being on the top deck in the open air -the biggest most open space I could find.
Grounding Yoga poses will help in this situation as well! I’ll go into more detail about those a bit further down, keep reading.
Take Deep Breaths
Ujai Breath (Yoga Breath)
taking deep inhales through the nose, pulling the air to the back of the throat, constricting those muscles as you pull the air down into your lungs and then into your belly.
Take a pause between the inhale and the exhale.
Then exhale fully, from the belly, to the chest, through the constricted throat cavity, and either out your mouth or out your nose.
The breath should be audible, and it should sound like an ocean wave.
I’m a big fan of square breathing, using a 4 count.
Breathe in for 4 counts. Hold the breath for 4 counts. Exhale for 4 counts. Hold for 4 counts.
Do enough of these rounds to make you feel better (usually by #3 for me, but it could take anywhere from 1-10)
Any kind of breathwork will work, if this isn’t your fave
5 Grounding Yoga Poses accessible from any hotel room:
Child’s Pose
if being on the floor in a hotel skeeves you out, there’s an option to use a towel underneath you or you can use the bed as your mat if you don’t travel with yours
Tree Pose
Pyramid Pose -or- option for Half Pigeon
Legs up the Wall
just a few deep breaths will do it. 3-5 minutes is ideal if you can spare it.
Supine Twist/ Savasana
Challenge number 2 for this sailing was the digital kinks. I’ll remind you that this was the very first sailing for Virgin Voyages, so this part was to be expected. Here’s what I learned about on board reservations:
Book Dining as soon as you are able
For our sailing this was available about 2 weeks prior to boarding
Each cruise line will do things differently so be sure to check in with your travel agent about when to do all of these things
RE-Confirm your dining the moment you get on board
Again, assuming this was a ‘new system’ glitch, but it’s a good habit to get into if you’re going to be making dining reservations.
We had a reservation for each night, when we got on board, we discovered half of our dinners were no longer showing as booked. Thank goodness we noticed while we were touring one of the restaurants after we boarded and were able to get it squared away first thing, if we hadn’t noticed, things may have become tragic
Reserve your fitness classes/shows ASAP
Most cruise lines will let you book shows and entertainment in advance, and maybe Virgin will hop on that bandwagon as they continue to sail, but as of now, you are not able to book shows or fitness classes until you get on board, this goes for Spa treatments as well.
So book them FIRST THING! (There’s a lot of ‘first things’ to keep track of, I know! Cruising is serious business).
Right now, due to COVID regulations, most fitness classes on board only offered 6 spaces, which means not nearly enough chances for everyone to join in, which is why it’s important to book this first if it’s important
Something to note here, although the classes are included for free with Virgin, if you don’t show for a class you registered for, they will charge $10, so if you know you’re going to a show the night before, maybe don’t book that sunrise yoga.
Shows were limited in availability as well, with not enough seats/showings for everyone to get a chance to see them all. It’s a good idea to have a list in mind when you get on board and try for as many as you can.
There is some waitlist seating available for no shows, so you may still want to head over to the show if you’re hoping to score last minute tickets.
If you’ve read this far, I’ll spill the tea on one of travel’s dirtiest, most awkward secrets…
What to do when a member of your group throws a tantrum/ starts a fight/ divides the group.
Let’s face it, at some point or another in our lives, we’ve experienced traveling with someone that ends up fighting with another person in the group. Whether it’s a friend group, work group, couples group, or family group; the feeling and the outcome are the same.
Awkward…
For the parties that aren’t involved.
Here are a few options of how you could handle this:
Take the opportunity to find some solo time.
You could look into all of the offerings of your destination (excursions from a cruise or all-inclusive etc)
I went to my cabin to read a book and enjoy the hammock on my balcony for a little reset during my last voyage.
Meditation also helps to ground in these types of emotional situations for anyone that may be a little sensitive to those energies.
ALWAYS BRING A BOOK! Or Kindle. Or Audiobook. It’s a great escape.
Try to convince the parties involved that even if they aren’t ready to forget or forgive (which is fine), they can still choose to act like adults and function around each other for the sake of the group with their remaining time (and the remaining dinner reservations!! -Hello!! Did we mention AWKWARD?!)
If you have a particularly stubborn traveler, who isn’t willing to compromise on who they have deemed toxic and can suddenly no longer stomach in any amounts (to the point of causing a scene at a mini concert, and missing dinner reservations, facts) allow them the space to vent if they need it. Take nothing personal. Let them know where you stand and if you have boundaries around the situation (perhaps your friend is another party involved and you don’t want to be in the middle).
WHATEVER YOU DO! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL! DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE. It should go without saying. But some people need to hear it. This is not the opportunity for you to air your grievances. Save it for post cruise/vacation/excursion/etc., and if you still feel the way you feel, take it to the person directly.
If you can, try to convince your people to discuss the issue with the people involved only.
Ex: I don’t think I’m the one you should be talking to about it. You should be talking to Susan if you have an issue with what she said to you while I was in another location entirely.
Do you boo! Use your tools.
Don’t let other folks’ drama spoil your time.
Don’t feel like you have to choose.
Carry crystals in your pockets or in your bra.
Protect yourself from other folks’ stuff.
Spend time where you want, with who you want, you did nothing wrong and your trip should not be affected.
